I’m A Parent Who Encourages My 13-Year-Old To Have Sex

Parents are naive, or in denial.

To allow your thirteen-year-old to listen to sexually promiscuous music, have a boyfriend or girlfriend, permit them to go to their house, video chat with he or she in the bedroom with the door closed, and have a lock on their iPhone is in my opinion, highly encouraging sexual activity.

How can you expect your child to abstain from sex if you don’t do your job as a parent by teaching and protecting them?

Is responding to the issue with, “They’re going to do whatever they want,” really good parenting? Are not children to obey? And if they don’t, could it be possible that you have trained them to get what they want by not disciplining them thoroughly and setting boundaries?

I’m not a parent, but I have taught, taken care of, babysat, and mentored young people for a total of eight years. Though I have yet to have children, I listen to father and doctor, Bob Barnes of Sheridan House ministries on Parenting Today weekdays at 2:45pm to 3pm via ReachFm, and more parenting talks on Family Life Today and other Christian programs, and have observed the parenting of those with highly obedient and well-behaved children. I only share with you what I’ve learned from them and what I know to be true about many teens since I was there and still mentor them today.

I get emails from tempted fourteen-year-old girls. When they’re that young and in a relationship, I always encourage them to stay single and focus on their relationship with Jesus. I tell them not to consider dating (I actually teach on courting), until they’re of age or maturity to begin considering marriage. To be in a relationship before this time is to tempt oneself into sexual immorality. Hormones are blazing and it only takes some affection from your child’s crush to release the flood waters.

So I write this out of love and concern. I hear the tragedies of teen pregnancy and abortion. I know of the STD epidemic. I’m sure you parents do as well.

Please set up boundaries and restrictions for your child until they’re out of your house and on their own. The culture we live in is saturated with sex. Practically every song on secular radio is about dating and having sex. Nearly every PG-13 and R-rated movie have sexually suggestive material, and the magazines your child is confronted with in the grocery checkout isle shout for your daughter to be a sex-guru. Have you read some of the titles? I flip over those magazines and others that have half-naked women on them. But this is the day your child lives in. Sex-messages are everywhere, and that is why you have to be all the more diligent in protecting them.

Do you really want media teaching your children what sex is and when it should be experienced? Public schools are actually having a field-day teaching your children about all the ways they can be sexually active and then passing out condoms like candies.

Please guard over your precious children. They just want someone to look up to, but if you’re too busy or too tired from work to invest time in teaching your children, they will reap what you’ve sown.

80% of the church is having premarital sex???

80% of the church between the ages of 18-29 are having premarital sex. WHAT? This should rip our hearts from our chests and make us ashamed and broken before the Lord, our good and perfect Father.

How can we commit our past sins—the ones that Jesus was beaten and crucified for? Have we no love for He who loved us to the point of pouring out His very blood in our rightful place? How can we take these temples—our bodies—and use them as weapons of unrighteousness? Do you not know when you sin, your actions are aimed at the very heart that was pierced for you and pierces it again?

He died to give you power over sin, to practice self-control, which is a fruit of His Holy Spirit that should be living inside of you if you truly did give your heart to Him. Church, we should be angry over this, beating our chests and weeping with shame for the disgrace we’ve caused our Father and Master.

And let us not, I repeat, let us not be deceived into thinking we can so offer up our bodies to the temple of sexual immorality and still expect to receive heaven—which is being with Jesus for all eternity.

If even you couldn’t bear the thought of standing before the Holy, Perfect Son of God for all eternity knowing you chose to sin against Him and have sex outside of the sanctity of marriage, what makes you think He will be able to bear it? “You must be holy,” He commands, “as I am holy.” To believe otherwise is to believe a lie for the sake of fulfilling our own sinful desires in a feeble attempt to trick ourselves into thinking since we appear holy on the outside, God will let us in on the day we face Him for judgement.

Be broken! Repent! Only then shall your souls be truly saved. I speak this from love. I tell you the truth, unlike the world who is under the influence of Satan himself.

If anyone says they’re a Christian, but practices sexually immorality, they are a liar, and the Truth is not in them. But thank God, through Jesus Christ our Lord, as long as we have breath we can forsake these sins and give our lives to Him. When we truly see how horribly offensive these crimes are to His Holy Spirit and we grieve over them, crying out to Him for mercy and forgiveness, then will He renew our Spirits and give us a heart that seeks to please Him, a heart with new desires. Run from your sin. Your very soul depends on it!

Christian Sex

My beloved brothers and sisters, I write to you what Paul wrote to the saints in his day:

“But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints.” (Ephesians 5:3)

“Finally then, brothers, we ask and encourage you in the Lord Jesus, that as you have received from us how you must walk and please God — as you are doing — do so even more. For you know what commands we gave you through the Lord Jesus. For this is God’s will, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality, so that each of you knows how to control his own body in sanctification and honor, not with lustful desires, like the Gentiles who don’t know God. This means one must not transgress against and defraud his brother in this matter, because the Lord is an avenger of all these offenses, as we also previously told and warned you. For God has not called us to impurity but to sanctification. Therefore, the person who rejects this does not reject man, but God, who also gives you His Holy Spirit.” (1 Thessalonians 4:1-8)

Once you accept Christ as Savior and Lord, God’s Holy Spirit literally comes into your heart and “seals” it, not only for salvation, but for sanctification. God’s Spirit is holy, and He commands us to also be holy.

As a child of God through acceptance and surrender to Christ, we should no longer struggle with lustful desires (anything outside God’s will). We have a “new heart,” that is now able to obey God’s commands, the first being: Love The Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength.

How can you love God with all your mind if you are lusting?

“This is how we are sure that we have come to know Him: by keeping His commands. The one who says, “I have come to know Him,” yet doesn’t keep His commands, is a liar, and the truth is not in him. But whoever keeps His word, truly in him the love of God is perfected. This is how we know we are in Him: The one who says he remains in Him should walk just as He walked.”(1 John 2:3-6)

“Dear friends, we are God’s children now, and what we will be has not yet been revealed. We know that when He appears, we will be like Him because we will see Him as He is. And everyone who has this hope in Him purifies himself just as He is pure. Everyone who commits sin also breaks the law; sin is the breaking of law. You know that He was revealed so that He might take away sins, and there is no sin in Him. Everyone who remains in Him does not sin; everyone who sins has not seen Him or known Him. Little children, let no one deceive you! The one who does what is right is righteous, just as He is righteous. The one who commits sin is of the Devil, for the Devil has sinned from the beginning. The Son of God was revealed for this purpose: to destroy the Devil’s works. Everyone who has been born of God does not sin, because His seed remains in him; he is not able to sin, because he has been born of God.” (1 John 3:2-9)

Now the wonderful news is that if you have been sinning, you can repent and choose Christ. He will cleanse you completely and you, now knowing the truth about sin and that in Christ you can conquer it and not desire it, you will walk freely in Him.

I know many believe we’re only human, we’re inevitably going to sin, but the truth of the matter is that once you have the same Holy Spirit that raised Christ from the dead living in you, sin has been defeated in your life, and if you do sin, it is by choice and pride. You can choose not to sin because of the most powerful Holy Spirit, if He indeed lives inside of you.

The beauty is the gift of the Holy Spirit can be given to any and all who are willing, no matter your past or your present. If you choose right now to turn away from your sin and give your will, your heart, to Jesus, He will give you a brand new one and empower you with His own Spirit, enabling you to live a life that is pleasing to God.

Are you ready for transformation? It’s a willing heart and confession away. Ask Christ to forgive you for your sins and to give you His Holy Spirit. When you do, not only are you choosing the only way to heaven (Jesus), but you’re choosing the One who destroyed the power of sin and “the devil’s works,” over your life. There is nothing more freeing that being able to desire and have the power to do right and no longer desire to do wrong.

I pray you allow Christ to set you free.

“Jesus answered them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who commits sin is a slave to sin. The slave does not remain in the house forever; the son remains forever. So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.”(John 8:34-36)

If I don’t get married tomorrow, I’m going to die

Do you feel like you’ve been waiting for that spouse for a long time? Are you wondering what in the world is taking so long?

Make sure you’re being practical, not mystical. Choosing a spouse is up to you, but you do need God’s affirmation on the person you desire to pursue.

But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be provided for you. (Matthew 6:33)

Seek God’s will first and His righteousness. Pause for a moment. Are you righteous? Are you seeking God’s will first? Not just seeking Him in the area of relationships, but in every area of life.

You may be praying for a spouse, but you’ve got sin in your heart that has yet to be dealt with.

Do you struggle with lust and think when you get a spouse it will magically disappear? Yes, we all get tempted at some point, but the Bible is clear that:

No one undergoing a trial should say, “I am being tempted by God.” For God is not tempted by evil, and He Himself doesn’t tempt anyone. But each person is tempted when he is drawn away and enticed by his own evil desires. Then after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin, and when sin is fully grown, it gives birth to death. (James 1:13-15)

James tell us in the verse before:

A man who endures trials is blessed, because when he passes the test he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him. (James 1:12)

If you fall into sexual sin, and have premarital sex, are you enduring? Should you expect a spouse? If you are master-bating because you cannot control your thoughts, are you enduring?

Again, we all get tempted by our own lists, and the Bible commands us to “take every though captive and bring it into the obedience of Christ,” (2 Corinthians 10:5) and in various other places, “don’t conform but be transformed by the renewing of your mind,” and, “gird the loins of your mind.” If you are allowing yourself to have sexual fantasies or are succumbing to pornography, God will not hand over one of His precious children to your lust so that you can objectify them and use them and end up cheating on them because you never learned to control your thoughts.

If this is speaking to you, the beautiful thing is that God understands our weaknesses. You can come to Him and confess these things. Do not try and hide it, Adam tried that trick in the garden and it accomplished nothing.

God is all-knowing remember? He knows every thought you have. But He wants you to confess it to see if you are serious about changing. That’s the first step: confession.

The second is repentance. Realize how broken you are. Realize that Jesus takes sexual lust so serious He equates it to adultery. Determine not to fantasize or masterbate or have premarital sex anymore.

Ask brothers and sisters to hold you accountable. Seek biblical counseling. Disconnect your Internet. Run from it! Repentance means running from your sin. Read your Bible, let it shine its bright light on the darkness of your heart, be open to it exposing your secret motives to you.

When you do this and overcome, then you will be a trust-worthy steward who God can bless with a spouse. Until then, stop whining and start changing.

It may not be lust you battle, but anger, or insecurity. These all must be dealt with. If you’re an insecure woman, you believe the lie that a husband will make you feel secure. In reality, when he comes, you’re gonna be making Him the Messiah in your life and set unreal expectations on him that will bring your marriage to destruction.

Anger is obviously destructive so need to expound on that one. But these are necessary to rid yourself of before marriage.

So, seek God’s will and righteousness first, and everything else will be added to you.

“I Read Erotic Novels, But I Read My Bible Too”

Does one think because they are not doing the act, and only thinking it, that God’s cool with it?

I think we just don’t know God well enough. Or we simply forget He knows our every thought and the motives in our heart, every secret thing we hide deep inside.

We think it’s okay to read a romance novel filled with (or maybe “only two”), pornographic scenes. Maybe we silence our consciences since it’s just words and not as graphic as a television screen.

But did not Jesus equate lust with adultery?

God is the epitome of holy. He turns away in disgust at our sinful thoughts. Yet He does forgive those who are truly repentant. And He forgets.

But one must not think it’s okay to continue reading, watching, or just fantasizing about certain things, namely, sexual things (unless we’re married and thinking about our spouse, but if you are married you won’t even have to fantasize).

God sees, He hears, He knows.

We should be afraid of Him. But, it should be our love for Him that causes us to obey, just as Jesus taught.

In other words: if you’re okay with the stuff you’re watching, reading, listening to, or doing, then you don’t love Him with all your heart. You may love Him with some of your heart, but that’s like saying on your wedding day, “I’ll mostly stay through sickness and health, and all the other stuff, but not entirely.”

I wouldn’t have married Jonathan if I knew there were other women he loved besides me. I want his 100% devoted love, not some or most of it. And God is no different in that respect. He expects, with good reason, all of you.

I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. (Romans 12:1)

What are you thinking, reading, watching, listening to, or doing that you know isn’t God-honoring? If you call yourself a Christ-follower, that title entails a denial of self, a “crucifying” of one’s sinful desires, and a pursuit of Jesus.

Do you love Him with all of your heart?

If you’re a Christian you should strive for holiness, just as your Heavenly Father is holy.

He gave everything for us. He deserves nothing less in return.

Have any thoughts on this post? Feel free to share them in a comment.

Hollywood’s Love Lies Video

So me and Sir Jonathan (my husband), film relationship videos for YouTube. We give advice on how to do relationships God’s way. In this video, we parody Hollywood’s romantic comedies and debunk the second lie to their version of love. Feel free to leave a comment with your thoughts on it.

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=y3mBIfUro9o

Tired of having sex with your boyfriend?

Dear beautiful woman reading this post right now, please imagine with me for a moment:

Imagine a brand new man, one you’ve never seen before. Now this new man is acquainted with you due to some mutual friends or you’re at a place of mutual interest and notice one another. Some time passes, and this man sees you again in that mutual setting. He approaches you, and rather than asking you on a date, he asks if you’d like to join him and his friends to go and do some activity together. You agree, and you all have a nice time together. The guy invites you some more times to hang in a group setting, and you begin to build a friendship. You have a sense that he’s attracted to you, and you know you’re attracted to him, but he hasn’t made a pass at you or anything. Then, one day, you receive a phone call from him. He tells you he’s been praying about it, and would like to know if you will allow him the honor of getting to know you better. You’re totally down, so he begins inviting you places. It’s always in public, and he’s always very respectful. He doesn’t every invite you to his place, or asks you if he can come to yours. He’s just asking you questions about yourself, your goals, your dreams, your family life. He is genuinely interested in getting to know your heart. One day, he tells you he’s really impressed with who you are, and deems you a woman he would like to someday marry. So he asks you if he can have the honor of courting you. You say yes, and after some months go by, he asks for your father’s number. You give it to him, and you find out that he has asked your dad if he will give his blessing in marriage. Your dad respects this man, so he says yes. Soon after, this man proposes to you, and after the plans are made, he walks you down the aisle, and on your wedding night, is the first time you share a bed together and become one.

All right, back to reality. Let me ask you, and be honest, (it’s not like anyone can hear your thoughts anyway), if there was a guy out there who would do this exact thing I’ve just had you imagine, would you desire him? I’m gonna play it safe and say chances are you’re saying, “I most definitely would!” But now you may be thinking, but there aren’t guys out there like this. What guy dates a girl for more than a few months and doesn’t have sex with her? What guy waits prays about pursuing a girl, and then is interested in getting to know her heart, refraining from having sexual activity with her until their wedding day? This isn’t Twilight for crying out loud!

O, but there is a guy out there that is better than Edward. There is a man that will fall in love with your heart without experiencing your body and then wait for you until marriage. But in order to obtain this man, you must first give your heart to The Perfect Man.

“Natasha, who is this perfect man?”

I am so glad you asked.

Two thousand years ago, there was a man born in Bethlehem near Jerusalem. He had a very interesting birth, one written about close to seven hundred years before it happened:

“Therefore the Lord Himself will give you a sign: Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a Son, and shall call His name Immanuel [God with us].”-Isaiah 7:14

This man grew and lived a perfect life. He taught the people teachings that remain with us today: treat others as you desire to be treated, walk away from a fight, serve others, it’s more blessed to give than to receive. He was the most unique man that ever lived, and the most controversial. He worked miracles, healing many of various illnesses and handicaps. His words have gone down in history, and until this very day, they have opened the door to transforming the lives of millions:

“I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.”-John 14:6

“I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live. And whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die.”-John 11:25-26

“I and My Father are one.”-John 10:30

When you allow this perfect man to come into your life, when you give him your heart, all your brokenness and disappointments, your guilt your doubts, your desires, He will give you a new heart. He will quiet your fears with His incredible love and show you just how beautiful you really are. He will make you pure again. He will make you whole.
Let Him love you. Let Him heal you. Then He will satisfy your deepest longings and provide the things you need. And when your heart is fully His, He will bring you a man that also loves Him fully, and together you will grow more in love.
You don’t have to stay in the relationship you’re in. You know deep down it’s not what it can or should be. So trust in the King. Ask Him for strength to let go of your boyfriend that you may get to know Jesus and His plans for you, and eventually meet the man He has for you. You won’t regret it.

Much love to you,

Natasha