I’m A Christian, But I Don’t Want To Be “Just” A Wife And Mother

My sister in Christ who is in a relationship and preparing for marriage shared something with me this morning that the Lord is working on in her, and it’s worth sharing.

She and her boyfriend are taking premarital classes with a pastor and are in the Love and Respect phase. Sir Jonathan and I likewise read Dr. Emerson Eggerichs’ book (Love and Respect) together during our premarital days. It really opens your eyes to how women need love and men need respect and how to give and communicate those essential actions.

So her boyfriend ends up telling her one day: “The way you’re speaking to me is disrespectful.” She goes to the Lord about it, and He tells her: “Imagine he was Jesus. Would you speak to him the same way?”

This poignant question definitely convicted her. I thought it was such a fine lesson from the Holy Spirit that all women of God should contemplate when speaking to others, especially the opposite sex.

“Don’t be conformed to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”-Romans 12:2

In America, there is an ever-increasing feminist agenda that is ironically becoming more and more hostile to the essence of womanhood and especially hostile toward men.

To think this pervasive mindset that saturates the media has no affect on us Christian women whatsoever is to be naive at best, and prideful at worst. But there’s another message that on the surface seems innocent, but is a worldly concept—not a Christ-like one—and that is this whole, “Chase your dreams,” notion. When this notion is not submitted to Christ, it can also tie into that hostile feminist attitude and manifest itself in disrespect.

I’ve seen this time and again with my precious sisters in Christ, and I’ve experienced it too. They desire marriage and children, a godly desire that is engrained in every woman’s DNA no matter how much they try to suppress it, but there’s a competing desire, one that can very well be ungodly.

A lot of Christian women think they need their own ministry or career. They have dreams of using this ministry to make disciples. But when that dream becomes “threatened” by marriage and children, they can get defensive and disrespectful to their male counterpart.

I’m not saying every dream we christian women have is a worldly desire. The dream can very well be from God, but we must be open to His timing. I RARELY see women under forty running a ministry. Most of the time, they’re wives who have already raised their children, and are now freed up to team with their husbands to start a ministry.

God can give you a dream like He gave Joseph, but not fulfill that dream until years and years of preparation and dying to yourself. And if we are not willing to lay that dream down for the sake of serving others, namely, our husband and children, that’s pride and it is dishonoring to God. His Word teaches us in Philippians 2:4 to not only look out for our own interests, but that of others as well, and Christ said in order to be great we must become least of all and servant of all.

The proverbs 31 woman sold clothes and fields, earning a profit, but her first obligation was to her husband and children and that’s really what she was highly praised for—caring for her family and household. But the feminist movement devalues stay-at-home mothers and exalts busy, unmarried, career women. There’s an exaltation of self, and a message that putting your dreams on hold to serve your husband and children is degrading when in reality, it’s extremely Christ-like and fruitful.

There’s no higher calling than making disciples for Jesus. A mother’s role is so critical to building God’s kingdom He makes sure the Word emphasizes her role over and over; Malachi 2:15, Titus 2:4-5, Proverbs 31:27-29, Psalm 127:3.

My prayer is that you would see with God’s eyes, not our society’s; that your mind would be transformed, not conformed to the pattern of the world. Feminism is an exaltation of self, it is not a Christ-like movement of serving others. It’s all about self—my wants, my dreams, me, me, me, and it has become so demonic it is now the biggest vehicle for promoting the murder of innocent babies in their mothers’ womb.

Please keep reading God’s Word. Let Him teach you and give you discernment. Be willing to put your dreams on hold for the greater good of your husband and children. Putting others before yourself is very pleasing to the Lord, submitting to your husband, raising your children to be godly, that is what He desires most because that—marriage—is what exemplifies His relationship with us most. And it is also a great tool God uses to equip us for ministry. If we as Christian women can die to ourselves and serve our husband and children, we can die to ourselves and better serve other women we desire to minister to in the future.

Lastly, let us not forget marriage and child-rearing ARE ministries—extremely important ones. When you study God’s Word, you see just how much He values this ministry. As women, we have incredible worth and purpose, and it’s not for the reasons the world perpetuates.

May you discover the beauty and honor in being a woman who walks in her Heavenly Father’s will.

Grace and peace to you,

Natasha

I’m A Christian Who Disrespects Authority & Teaches My Kids To Do The Same

Maybe our kids are acting disrespectful to us, their teachers, and elders because we teach them to do that.

Dr. Bob Barnes of Sheridan House Ministries makes a great point: If parents are disrespecting authority, whether that be the government or their boss, i.e. by talking badly about them, talking back to them, being late to work, breaking laws, etc. how can we expect our children to be respectful?

By doing this we are setting an example for our kids to follow: Don’t respect authority, as I myself do not respect authority.

Maybe it’s the way you talk about your father or mother in front of your children. They hear you griping about grandma and grandpa and see the dishonor in your words and then when they act unruly toward their grandparents or Sunday school teachers, you can’t understand why.

Even if the government, our bosses, or parents are treacherous, we are not to speak badly of them for this is dishonoring and disrespectful and it will train our kids to be dishonorable and disrespectful. This does not mean we approve of their wickedness, it means we let God judge them, and in a respectful way, warn our kids not to behave in similar patterns and explain the consequences.

If we have been disrespecting authority, we are displeasing and dishonoring God first and foremost, and we are raising up disrespectful kids who will have difficulty respecting us and others, keeping jobs, and honoring their spouses.

May we all, as Christians—myself included—repent of this sin of disrespect, that we may be blameless before our King, and leave a legacy of respectful children and generations that shine brightly in this dark world—a complete rarity amongst youth in our day and age.

This passage sums it quite effectively:

“Be willing to serve the people who have authority in this world. Do this for the Lord. Obey the king, the highest authority. And obey the leaders who are sent by the king. They are sent to punish those who do wrong and to praise those who do good. When you do good, you stop ignorant people from saying foolish things about you. This is what God wants. Live like free people, but don’t use your freedom as an excuse to do evil. Live as those who are serving God. Show respect for all people. Love your brothers and sisters in God’s family. Respect God, and honor the king. Slaves, be willing to serve your masters. Do this with all respect. You should obey the masters who are good and kind, and you should obey the masters who are bad. One of you might have to suffer even when you have done nothing wrong. If you think of God and bear the pain, this pleases God. But if you are punished for doing wrong, there is no reason to praise you for bearing that punishment. But if you suffer for doing good and you are patient, this pleases God. This is what you were chosen to do. Christ gave you an example to follow. He suffered for you. So you should do the same as he did: “He never sinned, and he never told a lie.” Isaiah 53:9 People insulted him, but he did not insult them back. He suffered, but he did not threaten anyone. No, he let God take care of him. God is the one who judges rightly.” (1 Peter 2:13-23 ERV)

If I don’t get married tomorrow, I’m going to die

Do you feel like you’ve been waiting for that spouse for a long time? Are you wondering what in the world is taking so long?

Make sure you’re being practical, not mystical. Choosing a spouse is up to you, but you do need God’s affirmation on the person you desire to pursue.

But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be provided for you. (Matthew 6:33)

Seek God’s will first and His righteousness. Pause for a moment. Are you righteous? Are you seeking God’s will first? Not just seeking Him in the area of relationships, but in every area of life.

You may be praying for a spouse, but you’ve got sin in your heart that has yet to be dealt with.

Do you struggle with lust and think when you get a spouse it will magically disappear? Yes, we all get tempted at some point, but the Bible is clear that:

No one undergoing a trial should say, “I am being tempted by God.” For God is not tempted by evil, and He Himself doesn’t tempt anyone. But each person is tempted when he is drawn away and enticed by his own evil desires. Then after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin, and when sin is fully grown, it gives birth to death. (James 1:13-15)

James tell us in the verse before:

A man who endures trials is blessed, because when he passes the test he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him. (James 1:12)

If you fall into sexual sin, and have premarital sex, are you enduring? Should you expect a spouse? If you are master-bating because you cannot control your thoughts, are you enduring?

Again, we all get tempted by our own lists, and the Bible commands us to “take every though captive and bring it into the obedience of Christ,” (2 Corinthians 10:5) and in various other places, “don’t conform but be transformed by the renewing of your mind,” and, “gird the loins of your mind.” If you are allowing yourself to have sexual fantasies or are succumbing to pornography, God will not hand over one of His precious children to your lust so that you can objectify them and use them and end up cheating on them because you never learned to control your thoughts.

If this is speaking to you, the beautiful thing is that God understands our weaknesses. You can come to Him and confess these things. Do not try and hide it, Adam tried that trick in the garden and it accomplished nothing.

God is all-knowing remember? He knows every thought you have. But He wants you to confess it to see if you are serious about changing. That’s the first step: confession.

The second is repentance. Realize how broken you are. Realize that Jesus takes sexual lust so serious He equates it to adultery. Determine not to fantasize or masterbate or have premarital sex anymore.

Ask brothers and sisters to hold you accountable. Seek biblical counseling. Disconnect your Internet. Run from it! Repentance means running from your sin. Read your Bible, let it shine its bright light on the darkness of your heart, be open to it exposing your secret motives to you.

When you do this and overcome, then you will be a trust-worthy steward who God can bless with a spouse. Until then, stop whining and start changing.

It may not be lust you battle, but anger, or insecurity. These all must be dealt with. If you’re an insecure woman, you believe the lie that a husband will make you feel secure. In reality, when he comes, you’re gonna be making Him the Messiah in your life and set unreal expectations on him that will bring your marriage to destruction.

Anger is obviously destructive so need to expound on that one. But these are necessary to rid yourself of before marriage.

So, seek God’s will and righteousness first, and everything else will be added to you.

Hollywood’s Love Lies Video

So me and Sir Jonathan (my husband), film relationship videos for YouTube. We give advice on how to do relationships God’s way. In this video, we parody Hollywood’s romantic comedies and debunk the second lie to their version of love. Feel free to leave a comment with your thoughts on it.

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=y3mBIfUro9o

Marriage keeps gettin’ sweeter

Today is me and Sir Jonathan’s three-year anniversary. And each year, I reflect and see that our marriage has simply gotten better and better. How is this possible?

Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken. (Ecclesiastes 4:12)

There is a corruption-proof, erosion-proof, divorce-proof cord strapping me and hubby together that is not easily broken. This cord is Christ Himself.
Many take marriage on without this cord being the center of their lives and their marriage, and suffer greatly for it. They fight and fight and fight some more, getting more and more annoyed and even sick of each other until one or both of them finally throws their hands up and quits.
See, two sinners pledging their lives to one another till death do them part is unhealthy–unless God rules your heart and you give Him the reins in your marriage. He’s the One who came up with the whole two becoming one idea and sharing life together so I think it’s safe to conclude He knows the best way to go about doing it.

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. (Ephesians 5:22-33)

The Bible has a lot to say about marriage, but this passage pretty much sums it up. Now I’m not saying me and hubby have never argued, but when we did, or do, it’s because we’re simply not obeying God’s marriage-commands and/or we’re sinning in another area of our lives and its affecting our marriage. That’s why I said it’s unhealthy to go about marriage without God ruling your heart and marriage.
God knows how desperately we stink at morality, so in His amazing grace and kindness, He offered His Perfect Son to hang on a cross and die to make the way for forgiveness and heaven, and then sends those who accept His Son, the Holy Spirit.
This Holy Spirit comes into our hearts and helps us obey God’s commands and teaches us more and more who Christ is.
The love of Christ transforms us, and we become more like Him daily.
That is why me and hubby’s marriage has only gotten better: he’s allowed Christ to rule his heart, and I have too, and when we mess up, we keep going back to God for help.
We pray together, go to Bible study together, encourage one another, support each other’s callings, Jonathan loves me, and I respect him.
And as long as we keep Jesus at the center of our lives and marriage, every anniversary will be sweeter.

Are you married? Have any thoughts or questions? Feel free to share them in a comment. I’d love to hear from you.

Choosing Who To Marry

I used to think there was only one specific person God wanted you to marry. But after reading this, I’ve come to a different conclusion:

“A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.” (I Corinthians 7:39)

The Apostle Paul says here that a woman has the freedom to marry whom she wishes, as long as they are a fellow Christ-follower. This kinda nullifies the whole “soul-mate” idea we’re spoon-fed via Hollywood.

However, I certainly believe there are people God does not want us to marry. The first being someone who does not follow/know/love Him.
But there are times where someone can say they believe in Jesus, but they’re not really following Him wholeheartedly. It is certainly detrimental to your own pursuit of Christ to bind yourself in marriage or even just tie your soul to someone relationally who does not give their whole heart to God.
Think about it: if this person cannot give Love Himself, the One who’s given them everything; died for them, made the way to heaven for them–if they cannot love Him with all their heart, or trust Him with all their heart, how could they possibly love you in a trustworthy and fully devoted way? They can’t devote themselves to the Perfect Person, how will they devote themselves to an imperfect person? The obvious answer is they won’t. Even if they never physically commit adultery, their eyes will look at others, their minds will wander, they will fantasize, or they’ll be more devoted to something else like a job, the kids, or themselves; their dreams, their desires, their money, their space etc.

The kind of love Christ taught us was very, very counter-nature:

Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. (Philippians 2:3, 4)

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. (I Corinthians 13:5-8)

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her … So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself … let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. (Ephesians 5:22, 25, 28, 33)

Submit to your husband in everything (Ephesians 5:24)? Respect a man always, even if you do not deem him respectable? This is something a natural woman, a woman who does not love and trust Jesus wholeheartedly will not want to do, nor can do.

Love your wife as you love your own self? That means to always look out for her and provide for her needs, cherishing her always, treating her as one who is just as important as your own self so she needs to be listened to and appreciated. This is impossible for a man to do till death do you part.
And to not seek your own? That’s all the culture feeds us: do you feel good with them, do they make you happy, are you pleased with them in bed, do you have a good time with them? It’s all about you. But Christ says: wait until you marry this person to enjoy their body. Sacrifice your interests, don’t seek your own, be patient “suffer long.”
When things get tough, don’t give up, do not fail to keep your vows, bear all things, always believe the best. I mean, this stuff is hard at times even for Christians to do because it’s much easier to put yourself first. But when you love Christ with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength, you seek to please Him. You desire to obey the way He tells you to love others. And in His amazing grace, He gifts you with His Holy Spirit so you actually can supernaturally love the way He commands. It’s an incredibly beautiful thing.

So Christian, can you marry who you want? Only if they too love the Lord. You’ll save yourself much heartache and save yourself from divorce if you marry someone who loves Jesus more than anything or anyone else. So please be wise. Do not marry based on feelings. Marry based on observation. Does this person really love Christ wholeheartedly? How do they show it? What things come out of their mouths? What do they want to do for the Lord? How is God using them presently? Do they walk in the 1 Corinthians 13 kind of love toward others? Are they patient, kind, honest, pure, a servant? Or are they selfish and self-seeking, a gossip, rude, impatient, and prideful?

Besides choosing to follow Jesus, who you marry is most certainly the most important decision you will ever make. Who you marry will either build you up in Christ, or drag you farther away from Him. There is no in-between. You decide who to marry. I pray it’s a good choice.

Have any thoughts on this post, comments or questions? Please feel free to share them in the comment section. I’d love to hear from you

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I Am Woman, I Get What I Want

I am excited to announce my new ebook, I Get What I Want, How women win yet lose with manipulation, is now available on Amazon for .99 cents. I pray God uses it to speak to and challenge you to further honor and glorify Him. Here’s the link if you’d like to download the book to your Kindle or free Kindle mobile app.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00EEG5RLS?ie=UTF8&force-full-site=1&ref_=aw_bottom_links

Until next time, Know your worth,

<3 Princess Natasha