Marriage keeps gettin’ sweeter

Today is me and Sir Jonathan’s three-year anniversary. And each year, I reflect and see that our marriage has simply gotten better and better. How is this possible?

Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken. (Ecclesiastes 4:12)

There is a corruption-proof, erosion-proof, divorce-proof cord strapping me and hubby together that is not easily broken. This cord is Christ Himself.
Many take marriage on without this cord being the center of their lives and their marriage, and suffer greatly for it. They fight and fight and fight some more, getting more and more annoyed and even sick of each other until one or both of them finally throws their hands up and quits.
See, two sinners pledging their lives to one another till death do them part is unhealthy–unless God rules your heart and you give Him the reins in your marriage. He’s the One who came up with the whole two becoming one idea and sharing life together so I think it’s safe to conclude He knows the best way to go about doing it.

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. (Ephesians 5:22-33)

The Bible has a lot to say about marriage, but this passage pretty much sums it up. Now I’m not saying me and hubby have never argued, but when we did, or do, it’s because we’re simply not obeying God’s marriage-commands and/or we’re sinning in another area of our lives and its affecting our marriage. That’s why I said it’s unhealthy to go about marriage without God ruling your heart and marriage.
God knows how desperately we stink at morality, so in His amazing grace and kindness, He offered His Perfect Son to hang on a cross and die to make the way for forgiveness and heaven, and then sends those who accept His Son, the Holy Spirit.
This Holy Spirit comes into our hearts and helps us obey God’s commands and teaches us more and more who Christ is.
The love of Christ transforms us, and we become more like Him daily.
That is why me and hubby’s marriage has only gotten better: he’s allowed Christ to rule his heart, and I have too, and when we mess up, we keep going back to God for help.
We pray together, go to Bible study together, encourage one another, support each other’s callings, Jonathan loves me, and I respect him.
And as long as we keep Jesus at the center of our lives and marriage, every anniversary will be sweeter.

Are you married? Have any thoughts or questions? Feel free to share them in a comment. I’d love to hear from you.

Choosing Who To Marry

I used to think there was only one specific person God wanted you to marry. But after reading this, I’ve come to a different conclusion:

“A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.” (I Corinthians 7:39)

The Apostle Paul says here that a woman has the freedom to marry whom she wishes, as long as they are a fellow Christ-follower. This kinda nullifies the whole “soul-mate” idea we’re spoon-fed via Hollywood.

However, I certainly believe there are people God does not want us to marry. The first being someone who does not follow/know/love Him.
But there are times where someone can say they believe in Jesus, but they’re not really following Him wholeheartedly. It is certainly detrimental to your own pursuit of Christ to bind yourself in marriage or even just tie your soul to someone relationally who does not give their whole heart to God.
Think about it: if this person cannot give Love Himself, the One who’s given them everything; died for them, made the way to heaven for them–if they cannot love Him with all their heart, or trust Him with all their heart, how could they possibly love you in a trustworthy and fully devoted way? They can’t devote themselves to the Perfect Person, how will they devote themselves to an imperfect person? The obvious answer is they won’t. Even if they never physically commit adultery, their eyes will look at others, their minds will wander, they will fantasize, or they’ll be more devoted to something else like a job, the kids, or themselves; their dreams, their desires, their money, their space etc.

The kind of love Christ taught us was very, very counter-nature:

Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. (Philippians 2:3, 4)

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. (I Corinthians 13:5-8)

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her … So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself … let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. (Ephesians 5:22, 25, 28, 33)

Submit to your husband in everything (Ephesians 5:24)? Respect a man always, even if you do not deem him respectable? This is something a natural woman, a woman who does not love and trust Jesus wholeheartedly will not want to do, nor can do.

Love your wife as you love your own self? That means to always look out for her and provide for her needs, cherishing her always, treating her as one who is just as important as your own self so she needs to be listened to and appreciated. This is impossible for a man to do till death do you part.
And to not seek your own? That’s all the culture feeds us: do you feel good with them, do they make you happy, are you pleased with them in bed, do you have a good time with them? It’s all about you. But Christ says: wait until you marry this person to enjoy their body. Sacrifice your interests, don’t seek your own, be patient “suffer long.”
When things get tough, don’t give up, do not fail to keep your vows, bear all things, always believe the best. I mean, this stuff is hard at times even for Christians to do because it’s much easier to put yourself first. But when you love Christ with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength, you seek to please Him. You desire to obey the way He tells you to love others. And in His amazing grace, He gifts you with His Holy Spirit so you actually can supernaturally love the way He commands. It’s an incredibly beautiful thing.

So Christian, can you marry who you want? Only if they too love the Lord. You’ll save yourself much heartache and save yourself from divorce if you marry someone who loves Jesus more than anything or anyone else. So please be wise. Do not marry based on feelings. Marry based on observation. Does this person really love Christ wholeheartedly? How do they show it? What things come out of their mouths? What do they want to do for the Lord? How is God using them presently? Do they walk in the 1 Corinthians 13 kind of love toward others? Are they patient, kind, honest, pure, a servant? Or are they selfish and self-seeking, a gossip, rude, impatient, and prideful?

Besides choosing to follow Jesus, who you marry is most certainly the most important decision you will ever make. Who you marry will either build you up in Christ, or drag you farther away from Him. There is no in-between. You decide who to marry. I pray it’s a good choice.

Have any thoughts on this post, comments or questions? Please feel free to share them in the comment section. I’d love to hear from you

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What Message Has God Given You To Write?

I have been in the presence of some Christian writers who scoffed at the idea of God writing through someone. When sharing how I pray before I write, trusting God’s Holy Spirit to work through me, some do not believe God will do this. But might I kindly remind you, beloved, that the Scriptures say in Colossians 1:29 that God is “working mightily” within us.
Jesus Himself also spoke of the Holy Spirit giving us words:

“But when they deliver you up, do not worry about how or what you should speak. For it will be given to you in that hour what you should speak; for it is not you who speak, but the Spirit of your Father who speaks in you.” (Matthew 10:19, 20)

Apostle Paul also taught that the Holy Spirit gives us words:

“For I will not venture to speak of anything except what Christ has accomplished through me to bring the Gentiles to obedience—by word and deed …” (Romans 15:18)

And the prophet Jeremiah …

“Then I said, “Ah, Lord God ! Behold, I do not know how to speak, for I am only a youth.” But the Lord said to me, “Do not say, “I am only a youth”; for to all to whom I send you, you shall go, and whatever I command you, you shall speak. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you to deliver you, declares the Lord.” Then the Lord put out his hand and touched my mouth. And the Lord said to me, “Behold, I have put my words in your mouth.” (Jeremiah 1:6-9)

God used ordinary people all throughout history as messengers to deliver His words to others, and God continues to do this today.

Now, I’m not saying everything a Christian writes is inspired by God. If your motives are jacked up, God isn’t writing through you. But if your heart is humble, and you desire to simply get His truth across, to deliver a message, there are times He gives you a message to share.
Sometimes, I write simply out of emotion, and every time I do, I have to go back and trash the thing. Jeremiah 17 tells us the heart is deceitful above all things, and Apostle Paul said the love of Christ compelled him. I’ve come to learn that writing from sheer emotions is not God compelling you to write. I might have genuinely been stirred about something disturbing I’d seen, an injustice of sorts, but immediately speaking out on it afterwards always came across wrongly.
When it is the love of Christ compelling you, there is a huge difference, and you see the fruit of the work in that it is impacting others for the better, revealing something to them, speaking to their hearts.
But many times, when God gives you a message to deliver, it’s not really something you want to do. It’s usually, from an earthly mindset, way over your head. Just as Moses disputed with God when He told him to deliver a message to Pharoh and then exodus the people of Israel from Egypt. Or when God told Jonah to deliver a message to the Ninevites; he hopped on a boat and fled in the opposite direction! And when God called teenage Jeremiah, as I mentioned before, he protested that he was too young and didn’t know how to speak.
I myself am certain the fantasy trilogy I’m currently working on is a message God wants me to deliver. How do I know this? When the idea got dropped into my mind, I was sitting in a prophetic church. Suddenly, while the pastor is teaching, the title “The Seven” randomly enters my mind and immediately, I know it’s a fantasy trilogy with seven characters who each resemble one of the seven Spirits of God–a verse I never thought about.
I was totally insecure. I thought, me, write a fantasy novel? Here I am, twenty-two-years-old, totally not a fantasy book reader, only having written nonfiction pieces about relationships from my personal experience, and God is telling me to write a fantasy book. I wasn’t even a Lord of the Rings Fan yet! My dad read The Hobbit to my sister, not me. Sure I read the Harry Potter books back when I was like ten-years-old, but I never got hooked on any dragon-and-knight-type stuff.
It took me a month to finally sit in front of the computer and begin typing the story. I knew that I knew nothing about writing fantasy and never desired to write fantasy. But because of those very reasons and the way it came to me, I knew it was not my idea. Now here I am, already working on book two, and knowing where book three is heading and how it’s all going to end. I envision it as an epic movie while I’m writing. I know what actors would be perfect for the main characters. It’s quite exhilarating.
So yes, I believe God still gives us messages to deliver to certain audiences. He has a specific message for teens and He chose me to give it to them.
As Christians, God gives all of us a message to share. Universally, we all carry the gospel, but then more personally, He uses us to give more specific messages. He’s used me to speak about the topic of relationships and marriage. What message has He given you to share?

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My ebook is now .99 cents!

My ebook for Kindle and the free Kindle app, I Get What I Want, How women win yet lose with manipulation, is now available for .99 cents on amazon!

I used to be an expert at the art of manipulation. I always got what I wanted from my boyfriends–but at a cost. There were four tactics I employed to dominate men, and they worked every time. In this book, I discuss the four ways women use manipulation, and share some of my own story of how I won with these tactics, but eventually lost what I desired, and how God disarmed my powerful weapon with the power of His love.

Here’s the link:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00EEG5RLS?ie=UTF8&force-full-site=1&ref_=aw_bottom_links

I Am Woman, I Get What I Want

I am excited to announce my new ebook, I Get What I Want, How women win yet lose with manipulation, is now available on Amazon for .99 cents. I pray God uses it to speak to and challenge you to further honor and glorify Him. Here’s the link if you’d like to download the book to your Kindle or free Kindle mobile app.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00EEG5RLS?ie=UTF8&force-full-site=1&ref_=aw_bottom_links

Until next time, Know your worth,

<3 Princess Natasha